My most gay, non-gay post

So, a few years back, my buddy's fiance (now wife) told him that I have some gay tendencies (Just a quick side track. I once told this to my cousin and she responded, "Really? You don't dress up in women's clothing." Oh, what she must think gay people are like). Now, I don't know exactly what she (my buddy's fiance) was referring to, but there are times in my life that I can't put up a good defense.

Which brings me to my last weekend's activity. Like I had planned, I went on a hike to some grottos in Malibu. I know that isn't something that summons up questions of my sexual orientation (maybe if I threw on a garter belt...), but what I did before hand kind of does. To accompany me on my hike was my friend, Chandler. Before we went on the grueling 3 1/2 mile trot, we decided to grab something to eat. Chan always knows of good places to get a quick snack and took me to a little spot called "Little Blue" in Calabasas.

Now, this is where my defense weakens. I first need to start off by saying, I was pleasantly whelmed by "Little Blue"; it was quite a quaint dive. And what did we eat? We shared (yeah, that's right, shared) a sandwhich called an "Ellen's Special"... and a cheese plate. Sadly, this isn't the first time Chan and I have shared a cheese plate. About a week before, we shared a succulent plate in the valley. Also, after sharing our cheese plate, tucked away together in the corner, we just had to skip next door and peek at the Kardashian's Clothing Boutique...

This is where I picture myself defending my sexuality in a courtroom.

The attorney asks, "Mr. Funk, do you like men?"

"No, not in the way you're implying."

"Really? Well Mr. Funk, please describe to me your lunch this past weekend."

"Well, you see, my friend Chandler and I shared this cheese plate at this great spot in Calabasas. Oh, it was right next door to that Kardashian Boutique... shit."

I really need a good make-out with a hot girl to reaffirm my manhood.

Oh, and the hike was alright.